Bethel Lutheran Church - Pastor Luke Bernthal God-s Instructions to Children & Parents ; Ephesians 6: 1 - 4; 2009-09-13 The Bulletin (order of service) Text: Ephesians 6: 1 - 4; God, through His apostle Paul, gives instructions first to children. We touched on this some in our children’s sermon a few minutes ago. God has spelled out His will for children in regard to their parents very plainly in the fourth commandment: “Honor your father and mother” (v. 2). Paul gives children two reasons for obeying this commandment: First, he says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (v. 1), secondly he reminds children of the promise attached to the Fourth Commandment, "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." (v. 3). With these words Paul is reminding Christian children that they are to obey and honor their parents because God has placed them here on this earth as His representatives and has given them His authority. While it is certainly true that children are to honor and obey their parents because it is right according to God’s holy will, and that in doing so their childhood and their ongoing relationship with their parents will go well with [them], it is the three small words sandwiched in between Paul’s commands that give children the true motivation for doing this. They are to honor and obey “in the Lord” (v. 1). Our obedience and honor toward our parents should come out of our respect, love, and awe for God—for all that He is and all that He has done for us through His Son, Jesus Christ. Well, what about when we are older? Most of us here today are “grown up” children of our parents. Does this commandment still apply to us, whether or not we still live under our parents’ roof? Yes it does! That is why the Lord used the word “honor” in giving His fourth commandment. Certainly the thought of obedience is implied under the “umbrella” of honoring our parents, but at its core the word that Paul uses here in the Greek for “honor” literally means “to ascribe worth to someone.” If we consider our parents to be “valuable”—people of “worth”—if we appreciate all that they have done for us and still do for us we will “honor” them not just with our words, but with our actions; with the care, love, and respect we show them even into their later years. In a sense, isn’t that when they will need our “honor” the most? Remember how harshly Jesus spoke against the Pharisees in our Gospel reading this morning for making man-made laws that prevented people from “honoring their father and mother” with their financial support and care (Mark 7:9-13)? He was obviously speaking about situations in which the children were grown adults and yet He very clearly and forcefully states that this command to “honor your father and mother” still applies. Now, for you who are parents, God speaks to you through His apostle Paul in the last verse of our text. Paul lists only fathers here in verse 4, but obviously mothers have also been given the position of authority over the children and the call to raise them in a God pleasing way, and so he is giving both parents the directive (although it is not by “accident” that Paul specifically lists fathers here. God has given husbands and fathers the responsibility of “headship” and has called them to be the leaders of their household, and therefore, holds them responsible for their children as well). Paul writes, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (v. 4). Parents, unfortunately, can be one of the most detrimental factors in preventing their children from willingly giving them, and their Savior, their “honor” and “obedience.” If God has given you children, He has called you to love them—truly love them. Truly loving our children means doing what is truly best for them, even if it’s tough, even if it takes some sacrifice and takes away from things that we’d rather be doing. True love for our children definitely includes discipline and correction (sometimes referred to as “tough love”). The Greek word that is used here in v. 4 for “training” implies discipline and correction. God advocates and endorses parental discipline when raising children. That is why He tells us in the book of Proverbs, “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24) and “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15). Parents, God has placed you “in charge” of your children (not the other way around!). He has put you in a place of authority which means He has made you His representative to your children here on this earth. He wants you to instruct, correct, and discipline your children according to His Word and His commands. NOT according to what they (or even what you) would rather do! However, discipline and correction can go too far, and if all our children hear and experience from us is a bunch of “do’s” and “do not’s,” and threats and punishments, they will be “exasperated,” (v. 4) as our text says. They will be “provoked to wrath” (NKJV - v. 4) and rebellion, and will not honor and obey us out of love. We must also show our children that we love and care for them, with both our words and our actions. We also need to lead them to see that when we do discipline them it’s because we love them, and because we want them to do what pleases their Savior. The same holds true if we try and raise our children in the “training and instruction of the Lord,” but only tell them about God’s Law—all the “do’s” and “do not’s” and threats and punishments. They will be “exasperated” and “provoked to wrath” against God. They will not want to honor and obey Him out of love. Our children need to be instructed and trained properly in their faith. They need to see who God really is. They need to hear and know the Gospel, not just the Law. They need to be shown God’s infinite love for them in sending His Son Jesus to pay the punishment for all of their sins. They need to see God as their loving Heavenly Father who has promised to provide for them, watch over them always, and work all things out for their good—even the times when they are disciplined—for God also tells us in the book of Proverbs, My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:11,12). Fathers, mothers, how are you doing in this regard? Are you putting the “training and instruction of the LORD” at the top of your priority list for your children? I’m going to guess that you and your children have incredibly busy schedules during your week filled with obligations and activities. Many of them, no doubt, very good and very worthwhile. But never forget the number one priority the Lord has given to you as parents: “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This includes bringing them here to church and to Sunday School, but as our Old Testament reading also reminded us, God calls parents to bring the Lord and His word into their everyday lives and activities. Listen again to these words from Deuteronomy 6, "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). All the toys, “play dates,” school activities, dance classes, and Little League games in the world cannot strengthen your children’s faith or help draw them into a closer relationship with their God and Savior. These things, while all of them have some value, their value is only temporary. Bringing up your children “in the training and instruction of the Lord” through His Word—those benefits are eternal! You want what’s best for you and your children. Give them the best! Make the Lord and His Word your priority and you will be making it their priority as well! Rest assured, God will truly bless you and your family when you do this. May God help us all, parents and children alike, to live according to His Word. Amen. |